Within Waking Hours
by twihard22
Summary: Bella runs from home & performs in the street Then she watches the sunrise & blinks & is suddenly in 1917 One green eyed boy keeps watching her perform They engage & he dies of spanish influenza. B goes to her own time & a certain gold eyed boy appears.
1. Prologue

**Within Waking Hours**

**Prologue**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight**

**Full Summery:**

**She can't sleep & scientists wish to experiment so she runs. She throws herself into dance and performing in the street. Bella watches the sunrise for the first time and blinks. She is in the same place but she is in 1917. When Bella watches the sunrise again and blinks she is in the present. Another surprise and she is back in 1917. Bella has gone into the past and makes a living by preforming in the streets. A green-eyed boy keeps coming back to watch Bella. They engage and he dies of spanish influenza. Bella goes to her own time and a certain golden eyed boy appears...**

**Bella POV**

I was different, I will admit that and I was okay with that. Everyone around me in the present knew it. It was like everyone in the world had their own tiny bubble and then there was me, sitting on the outside, watching them as life passed by day by day. I was soon to be a living science experiment. I managed to escape before things got too far, but I couldn't get anyone around me to officially accept me, no matter if the bystander had never met me before. No matter how hard I tired to be as normal as other people, they always seemed almost uneasy around me. I was excluded. I had an aura around me that screamed different. Not dangerous different, just different, something that people couldn't place, and that why I was always looked over.

The year 1917 was a place where I felt like I had a home, a place to where I could turn if I needed help or I was in some type of trouble. I was finally accepted into a place where I felt like I belonged. The phrase "living in the past" suited me well, although it didn't quite mean the same thing. Not being able to sleep was weird enough for me, but as well as being able to travel in time was just a whole new adventure that I was never quite sure what the outcome would be. After living sixteen years of not being able to sleep, nothing too drastic would be coming my way. If it hadn't effected me yet, why should it now?

Living in the past for a couple months; the same situation. If it wasn't effecting me now... why would it ever will?

I was right about the sleeping part, but the time traveling part, that came back to get to me. I couldn't tell him my secret. I couldn't tell him the truth, so I just tried my best to explain how wrong he was without exposing my most kept secret. But, every word said went in one ear and came out the other. He thought what he was doing was right, but needless to say, he was wrong because I already knew the outcome. Why risk it? At that moment as he walked out the door into the world, my life and heart shattered into a million pieces. So as I walked down the marble stone street thinking about where I stood then, I watched the sherbet sky penetrate the blackness creating astonishing colors seeping through the black hole. I sat down on the grass and blinked away tears that rolled heavily down my cheeks. I ran away from everything that ever truly meant something to me, everything that made the world worthwhile. I left him behind. I had lost everything…hadn't I?

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	2. Chapter 2

**Within Waking Hours**

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**Bella POV**

"I figured you would be up." My mother smiled at me as she opened my bedroom door and peaked inside, letting the hallway light fill the semi-dark room. I had my lamp on.

I only snorted at my mother's lame joke that had meant to try to lighten the mood. I was sitting on my couch in my bedroom and laid aside the book that I had been reading. I didn't have a bed in my room. There wasn't really any use for it in my room. A couch suited me perfectly. I didn't need a bed like everyone else did, because I didn't sleep.

Literally, no matter how many activities I did a day or how many sleeping pills I was given, I was never able to fall asleep. I had no idea what was wrong with me, but it never effected me. I for one was quite glad I didn't have to sleep. People had no idea what they were missing out as they were sleeping at night. There was a certain beauty of the night that was a shame that people had to miss out on it. It was very captivating.

My mother Renee fiddled with her robe as she stood in my doorway and sighed and sat down next to me. My mom's reddish brown hair was pulled back lazily into a bun. Her childlike brown eyes studied me for a few moments.

"It'll all work out Bella, I promise." She stated tucking a piece of stray hair behind my ear.

"And…after the scientists stick needles and wires and put other stuff on my and test me I'll be able to leave?" I questioned raising an eyebrow.

My mother hesitated trying to word her response in her head, but I could read the response right in her un-lying eyes.

"These people who are going to prod and pick at me aren't ever going to leave me alone! It's just the beginning and I'm going to be their living science experiment! They just don't know how it effects other people!" I cried aloud and desperately trying to choke back tears.

My mother rubbed my shoulder reassuringly. "Everything will be okay honey. We're just doing what we think is best."

"But it doesn't effect me!" I told her for the thousandth time, but she refused to listen to me. "Just because I'm different doesn't mean there is something wrong!"

"Bella, something is wrong! You can't sleep!" She exclaimed and then settled down. "Honey, we are only doing what we think is right." She told me as she whipped a tear that was leaking from the corner of my eye.

"Well, maybe sometimes what _you_ think is wrong!"

She sighed. "Relax Bella, please. Everything will turn out for the best I know it. I wouldn't be doing this if I felt it was the wrong thing to put you through." She kissed me on the top of the head and added, "I love you."

"I love you too." I responded. "Tell dad I love him too." I added knowing this would be the last chance I had to say goodbye to my parents.

"Okay." Renee said and walked almost silently to her bedroom to where my father Charlie was sleeping in bed.

I waited until I could hear the very light snoring coming from my parent's room. Then, knowing that they were both out, I got up silently and reached out and grabbed the small navy blue backpack from underneath the couch. I checked to make sure I had everything I needed before I left my room. After ruffling through it all making sure I had the right necessities, I pulled on my hoodie and slipped my feet into my sneakers as quietly as I could trying not to fall or bump into anything. I left my bedroom looking back to make sure the note to my parents was laid in the middle of my couch so it could be easily seen. I made my way downstairs thankfully making little to no noise.

I looked back at the kitchen and the living room as I reached the back door, laying my hand on the golden knob. I sighed and said my silent final goodbyes the house that I grew up in and silently slipped into the night.

The darkness kept devouring my house with every step I took away from it and then finally, with a final look back the darkness had succeeded in swallowing my house. I was greeted within a few steps from my house with a cold gust of wind and the lick of frost against my cheeks. I shivered slightly but soon warmed up.

I could see nothing except the gravel underneath my feet and I took more and more steps to the nearby train station.

The gravel that was crunching under my feet was oddly comforting. It distracted my brain from other thoughts. The silence of the night would have been too much for me to withstand.

I reached the train station in perfect timing and purchased my ticket hurriedly; because the train was due to arrive in five minutes. After receiving my ticket I made my way to platform 17. Once I arrived I heard a distance whistle of the train as it approached it's destination.

The big black engine came into view a minute later and the few people who were boarding the train stood up. The train came to a halt and I stepped aboard saying my final farewells to the town that I had grown up in. I picked a seat in the middle of the train away from any passengers nearby. I looked at the window as the train gave a jolt and started taking off towards its destination. The humming of the train comforted me as I watched the trees of Forks pass by in a blur seeming to wave goodbye and I headed towards the city of Chicago.

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	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight!**

**Thanks for all the reviews so far! Keep it up!:)**

**~Twihard22**

**Bella POV**

Dear Mom and Dad,

I know by the time you read this I'll be gone, going off to another place. I'm so sorry for leaving you like this; Forks, Washington just wasn't the right place for me. I didn't belong. I never belonged. Never, since the first time I took my first breathe and opened my eyes to this world around me. I am different and I accept that. Although I realize and cherish the fact that you were only doing what you thought was best for me, I just had this feeling this wasn't the right step to peruse. In a few years, I may look back and regret this, but I need to follow my heart and right now this is what I feel like I must do. Hopefully now that I am in a different place I will have a new chapter in my life. Somewhere I feel like I belonged. I'm so sorry but I know in my heart that here just wasn't where I belonged. This letter doesn't fully show, no matter how many times I write it down, how much I love you both and how I am so grateful for all that you have done for me up until now. You both were the best parents I could have ever had and I am regretting all the pain I am putting you in as you read this letter. I have written this letter many times and even now I don't think I have gotten it exactly right, but time was running out and I had to get away. I know you must be thinking that this was a mistake but after many times of looking at each separate piece of my destiny that I thought I should peruse this jigsaw piece was the one that was meant to be followed. My destiny is set and I know right now there is no turning back. I'm so sorry, hopefully over time you will forgive me for this, but I will never forgive myself for the pain I am causing you both. Please remember how much you meant to me and all the times we took our journeys together. I love you both so much, and I am so sorry. Please be safe and please grant me one last favor. Don't go looking for me. Please. This is something that has to be done. Please. I love you. Please don't come looking. I'm sorry. Please take care of yourselves. I love you both.

Love,

Bella

My letter repeated over and over in my head as the train moved closer and closer to Chicago.

The clunking of the sound of the train as it moved closer and closer was the only reassuring sound on this engine. The few men and women who were aboard were sleeping, reading or listening to music. There was one odd looking women though who was sitting across the aisle from me who kept stealing glances in my direction.

She was dressed in a long deep purple-jeweled robe with purple high heels. She looked about mid thirty's and she had signs of slow aging in her hard jaw and lined features. Her brown hair was specked with a few gray strands that fell all around her shaping her head.

I continued to stare out the window trying to get lost in the colors of the earth flashing quickly before my eyes. Every now and then I felt a gaze bore holes into my back and it took a lot out of me not to turn my head and glance in that direction.

Finally after about the tenth time she had looked at me, I couldn't resist and I looked over to her. She continued staring at me for a few moments and I store back looking into her deep hypnotizing eyes. I was unsettled as I took in the full glance of her.

Each of her eyes was a different color and not only that, they weren't ordinary eye colors that you would find in an average persons eye. Her right eye was yellow, like a snakes and the left was dark purple, like the color of her robes.

She got up silently and sat down next to me careful not to make any noise that could possibly awaken any passengers lost in their dreams.

Her voice was soft and did not match the hard features of her face. "Bella Swan I presume?" She asked me and studied my reaction quietly waiting patiently for my response.

I looked back at her startled but finally was able to answer back a shy quiet, "Yes."

She smiled. "There are things that will happen. Not quite soon, but in time. Go with what your heart tells you and even in times of drastic measures, never do anything you don't feel is right. Remember; in times when you feel sorrow and hopelessness, don't forget that the real true things will return. It may not seem that way but most treasured things in our lives will find their way back to us, in some ways that we least expect it."

I stared back nervous not very sure how to respond but luckily I didn't have to because she continued within a heartbeat of silence.

"In any situation no matter how drastic they may seem, there is always a light shining threw the cracks of helplessness that will come. Remember, true love is never forgotten. If you open the eyes of another and make them remember, it will be like you were never separated."

With that long speech, she gave me a farewell and stood up and as she was about to go threw the door, she stopped and looked back at me. "A wise women once said, things that are lost would always be recovered. " And with that she opened the train door and leaped into the open air surrounding the train. I watched a flash of deep purple as it disappeared along with the rest of the colors of the world as we entered a long narrow dark tunnel leaving me to solve the words that had no meaning to me at the time.

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	4. Chapter 4

Thanks to everyone who has been reviewing and who had added Within Waking Hours to favorite story and story alert!

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of the songs in this story!

Bella POV

Chicago. It's a city full of amazement and wonder. That's what I got from looking out the window of the train as the city came into view. The train gave a sudden jolt and the wheels squeaked as the machine slowed down reaching its destination. Not once did I see that mysterious women again. Even as I boarded off the train and wandered through the city streets did I see neither any sign nor the slightest resemblance of her. I sat down quietly on a bench located in the city. I was in the more of the upper class area of the city. The busy city lights flashed in front of my eyes and the honking of cars and the screaming of people filled the air.

I was scared and lonely. But, I couldn't even register the fact that I was alone because my mind was filled with tons of thoughts and questions swimming throughout my mind. I got comfortable on the bench and reviewed what was circling through my mind, trying to get them under control, oblivious of the cries of my parents as they read my letter over and over and over again.

Confused and lonely. That was a good way to describe how I felt. But, I knew feeling sorry for myself wouldn't get me anywhere. I had to get on with my life.

And so I did.

I pulled out my tambourine that I had been playing with since I was a little girl. I shook it and it made a tinkling noise. After today, I should have enough money to get fed for the week and get some necessities such as a disguise because I knew my parents would never actually listen to my letter. I wouldn't need to be caught the first week of running away.

I thought about what other things I might need as the sun's rays streaked through the sky, penetrating the blackness. I paid no attention as the sun danced across the sky signaling dawn.

The streets got busier and busier as morning passed on. I pulled out a booklet that I had put into my bag. It contained songs that I had written myself. You had lots of time when you didn't sleep. I frequently practiced the tambourine and wrote down songs each night.

'I might as well play down the list.' I thought absently seeing as I knew every word to all of my songs by heart. The first song was already playing through my head. I started shaking the tambourine, and I stared off into the distance starting my now new and soon to be roller coaster life.

I cleared my head and started singing.

" _I didn't know what I would find_

_When I went looking for a reason, I know_

_I didn't read between the lines_

_And, baby, I've got nowhere to go_

_I tried to take the road less traveled by_

_But nothing seems to work the first few times_

_Am I right"_

"_So how can I ever try to be better_

_Nobody ever lets me in_

_I can still see you, this ain't the best view_

_On the outside looking in_

_I've been a lot of lonely places_

_I've never been on the outside"_

"_You saw me there, but never knew_

_That I would give it all up to be_

_A part of this, a part of you_

_And now it's all too late so you see_

_You could've helped if you had wanted to_

_But no one notices until it's too_

_Late to do anything"_

"_How can I ever try to be better_

_Nobody ever lets me in_

_I can still see you, this ain't the best view_

_On the outside looking in_

_I've been a lot of lonely places_

_I've never been on the outside"_

"_Oh Yeah "_

"_How can I ever try to be better_

_Nobody ever lets me in_

_I can still see you, this ain't the best view_

_On the outside looking in_

_I've been a lot of lonely places_

_I've never been on the outside"_

"_Oh oh oh oh oh"_

My voice rang off into the distance fighting to be heard along with the everyday beeps and hollers.

I had a few people drop some change into the cup, but I knew it was time to step it up a notch. As a child, I would watch many shows on dancing. I practiced them in my room, sometimes along with my tambourine. As I grew older, I coordinated them together. Now I can see that what I thought was a silly fun thing to do had actually turned out to help me out in the future.

People passed and I continued to sing and dance with my tambourine. Some would stop and watch and some would clap as I finished. I got quite a lot of people who put change into my cup.

I began to get hungry. I knew that if I wanted to eat I would have to keep performing. I had enough now that I could get a decent meal and a drink, but I decided to get some cashews and water for now. That extra change could come into some use in the future. Soon, I was right back with my tambourine and I started singing again.

I can almost see it

That dream I am dreaming

But there's a voice inside my head saying

"You'll never reach it"

Every step I'm taking

Every move I make feels

Lost with no direction

My faith is shaking

But I gotta keep trying

Gotta keep my head held high

_There's always gonna be another mountain _

_I'm always gonna wanna make it move_

_Always gonna be a uphill battle _

_Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose _

_Ain't about how fast I get there_

_Ain't about what's waiting on the other side_

_It's the climb _

_The struggles I'm facing_

_The chances I'm taking_

_Sometimes might knock me down _

_But no, I'm not breaking _

_I may not know it_

_But these are the moments that_

_I'm gonna remember most, yeah_

_Just gotta keep going_

_And I, I got to be strong _

_Just keep pushing on _

_'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain _

_I'm always gonna wanna make it move_

_Always gonna be a uphill battle_

_Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose _

_Ain't about how fast I get there_

_Ain't about what's waiting on the other side _

_It's the climb, yeah! _

_There's always gonna be another mountain_

_I'm always gonna wanna make it move_

_Always gonna be an uphill battle_

_Somebody's gonna have to lose _

_Ain't about how fast I get there _

_Ain't about what's waiting on the other side _

_It's the climb, yeah! _

_Keep on moving, keep climbing _

_Keep the faith, baby_

_It's all about, it's all about the climb _

_Keep the faith; keep your faith, whoa_

By the end of the day, I had received $409.86. Like I said, I was in more of an upper class section of the city. People had more money in this area.

I stopped by a type of CVS store to buy a water, a notebook and a blanket. By the end of all the shopping of some basic necessities and after supper I had $352.00 left with me.

I went back over to the bench that I had been sitting on all day. I felt lonely without my parents. My parents were really the only ones I talked to. The people at my school would talk to me sometimes, but they were always uneasy around me. I had an aura that made people freaked out around me. I didn't have a normal life.

Now, it just seems to get weirder and weirder. A strange lady coming up to me with two different color eyes, sleeping in the streets, singing my songs I wrote as a child to the world, wearing a disguise (sunglasses and a hoodie) and living as a run away fugitive.

I would just have to get used to this. But what I thought was weird now, was nothing compared to the future. Nothing. Life takes you on a journey and you never have a way to get out of it, because it will eventually come back and find you again.

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	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight!**

**Bella POV**

"Bella you want anything before I wrap up?" Ed's voice sounded off in the distance.

"Just a water please." I said reaching in my pocket for some spare change.

"Bella. Please, it's on me." He smiled.

"Are you sure?" I asked chewing my lip as I watched his olive toned arm reach inside the cooler and yank out an ice-cold water.

"Yep. No charge for any friends of mine." He winked at me and handed me the water and walked back to his cart and wordlessly began to pack it.

"Thanks." I mumbled as he finished.

"See you tomorrow Bella." He grinned and gave me a fist punch and then left.

"Same time, same place." I answered automatically.

Ed was a man who made his living selling things from his cart and his cart just happened to be next to my bench (aka my new home). After about three days of watching him sell and leave we started up a conversation and before I knew it he was the one and only friend I have ever had. He never seemed on edge around me either because A. he didn't feel the same type of repel towards me as every one else on this planet, B. He felt it but since he was used to weird he didn't mind or C. He did but just didn't show it. My guess was B.

Ever since the day we met, we would talk each day, share stories, I would continue performing and buy food from his cart.

As I preformed I noticed a series of things that were the same about the people who gave me spare change. They would have an uneasy face and lean as far back as they could to put the money in the cup as if it was poisonous. People were uneasy around me, but that still didn't stop them from putting money in the cup. There were three things I thought about as this happened. One, things weren't as different from now then they were at home, but on the upside I didn't have to stand up to the constant repetition of the kids at my old school's scowls and 'loser' whispers as I walked the halls. Second, it interested me that people would put money in my bucket next to my foot if they were unsure of me, it was almost like they just did it to ease their conscious to make them feel better for themselves, which in turn bugged me because I didn't want to be treated like a charity case. I was just trying to live my life and not want to see the faces of people as they struggle to put the change in my cup but the sorrowful expressions on their faces as they did. Third, one good thing came out of the uneasiness that people felt towards me. People didn't take the time to look at me and take me in, they were always in a hurry most of the time to put money in and run which helped with the whole run-away thing since my disguise wouldn't win any award or anything. But for the few people who stayed and listened for a few minutes, I tried not to make eye contact.

After my first week I realized how fast money could go. It was definitely running low. After the first day of doing my performances and earning a total of $409.86 plus adding the $500.00 I had saved quickly dropped. I used the money up in a week from buying things that I needed. I underestimated the amount of spending that I thought had to be done.

After a few weeks of performing I concluded I made around $2,000 per week, which seemed a lot to me, but things weren't as cheap and it went as quickly as it came.

But, as a whole I was enjoying the life of the city. It was full of energy night and day (as I would know). It never failed to bore me, not even once. But that still didn't make me forget about the few things that I loved about Forks. I still missed my home. I missed the warm embrace of my mother as she would stroke my hair and sit with me, as we would watch cheesy sitcoms and the tinkling laugh of my father when he would read the joke column in the newspaper each morning. I missed the quietness of the town and the fact that mostly everyone knew everyone else's life stories. Most of all, I missed my old little bedroom which would be the place where I would escape most days to get away from the world for as long as I could and just focused on writing songs and shaking the tambourine I had that was always placed under my couch.

Life was definitely different here and you never really realize what you have until it's gone. I tried not to dwell on the fact that I knew how much pain I was putting my parents through by leaving, but there was nothing I could do. This was the right path to follow and that was a gut feeling.

I wondered about the mysterious women I had met on the train. I could still remember her odd eyes and her purple outfit. Her words stuck to my brain like glue. _"__There are things that will happen. Not quite soon, but in time. Go with what your heart tells you and even in times of drastic measures, never do anything you don't feel is right."_ This I presumed meant that I need to follow my heart on the decision I made and if it feels right carry it out, but in time think things through because bad things could happen. That was the only thing that made since to me at the moment.

"_Remember; in times when you feel sorrow and hopelessness, don't forget that the real true things will return. It may not seem that way but most treasured things in our lives will find their way back to us, in some ways that we least expect it." _This I figured meant I might lose something valuable during a bad time but it will come back to me because I treasured it. I was never good with the whole fortune cookie language. These seemed stupid to me. Why couldn't things just be said straight out? My life is difficult as it is.

_"In any situation no matter how drastic they may seem, there is always a light shining threw the cracks of helplessness that will come. Remember, true love is never forgotten. If you open the eyes of another and make them remember, it will be like you were never separated."_ Her words meaning I will lose someone close to me but if I tough it out there will always be a way out of sadness. But love is never forgotten and if you make people see the way you see it will make it sound like you are on the same page.

_"A wise women once said, things that are lost would always be recovered."_ This one to me was the easiest of all. It meant that things that may seem lost would always find their way back to you.

I thought about each explanation to each of those women's words and each one seemed so far off that I was embarrassed my own dumbness. I needed to read in between the lines. But I was never good at that. These words she spoke didn't go along with my life I was living now whatsoever. But, little did I know, these things didn't necessarily go along with just the life I was living now, but the one that was about to come. Lives that had already happened but they had just happened without me interfering in it, but now the second time around I would live in a time that was already lived in.

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	6. IMPORTANT MUST READ!

Dear Readers,

I have received a message from the Everlasting Twilight Awards that my story Forever and Always has been nominated for the Best Romance Award! This is truly SO exciting! So if you believe that my story should receive this award, please go to my profile and click on the link! Thank you SO much in advance! I really hope that you will vote for Forever and Always!

Thank you again!

-Twihard22


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